Why Travel During a Divorce

Divorce is nasty, no matter if you have kids involved or not!  It has been almost two years since the first time the word divorce entered my life.  Our lives quickly went from good to bad, and during that time I worked hard at keeping my kids emotionally busy.

As I think back over the past two years, I can reflect on all the mistakes I made, as others look back on the last two years they can judge all the things I did.  The one thing I will never regret doing over the past two years is traveling!  While some will say it was not the wisest decision financially, I can say it was the wisest decision emotionally.

Our lives were chaotic, day to day was never the same, but when I knew our lives

were going to be bad all I wanted  was to keep my kids as distracted as I could.  I wanted them to think back and have happy memories, not of all the bad that happened.

Weekly I would think of a new adventure, rather we would just hike at the local nature center or we would head out for a long road trip.  I tried to avoid places that we had not been to before, as I would fear it would remind them of what use to be.  We would often invite friends to add to the excitement, and I would take lots of pictures, so they could remember how happy they were while we were there.

Now that we are on the other side of the divorce, and our lives have calmed down, my kids flip through our pictures from the past two years with all smiles.   They will tell people how crazy mom was while we were at the zoo in Kansas City, or how I got lost driving through Lake of the Ozarks at night.

In life it does not matter how broke we are, how many bills we have to pay, or how much money we spent, the only thing that matters is how we impacted our kid’s lives, and I can say our travels have truly impacted my kids.

When people ask me what helped me the most through my divorce I often tell them Prayers, Love, and Traveling, and no doubt that is true.  There is something about escaping the problem and giving yourself a break from reality that makes life easier.

Before you head-out and plan a big trip for you and your kids, I must say there are things you need to know.  Remember divorces are nasty and there is another person always to think of.

• Know what the law is in your state, are you allowed to leave the state while you are going through your divorce, can your kids leave the state?

• What is the custody plan?  Some custody papers say you must have signed permission, some say nothing.  Read the fine print.

• Share all information with the other parent, I know it is your trip, but they are still part of your kid’s life, and what if something happened.

• Keep in contact with the other parent, let the kids call them whenever they want, and always let them talk to the kids when they ask to.
• When in doubt, ask your attorney if it is okay to travel.  I know it cost you to call, but it would be better than the alternative.