Most travel writers don’t talk about the real horror stories of travel. They tell you all about which drinks to try at lush resorts while getting the BEST SPA TREATMENT EVER.
That’s not me. There is nothing glamorous about business travel that takes you on the road 3-4 nights a week to exotic locations like Wichita Falls, Texas; Roff, Oklahoma, and Laredo Texas.
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I thought I had seen it all until I stumbled into a McAllen, Texas, hotel after 7+ hours of driving, only to be confronted by a blood stain on the floor.
So I did what any good travel writer would do: I stepped out onto my balcony to compose myself and gaze over the border into Mexico, then I sat down and wrote this. Now, if you ever confront a bloodstain on your hotel room carpet, you will be prepared.
1. Convince yourself that it is just red wine.
Sure it looks like it’s spattered in an organic pattern across the floor but it’s probably a 2012 Merlot and not a 1971 male right?
2. Speaking of spatter, check the walls.
Those dried brown dots are hot chocolate? Maybe? Now you’re stretching it. A quick phone call to the EMT husband or appointment with Dr. Google will tell you that blood dries brownish.
3. Check the rest of the room.
Before you call the front desk you should probably know if there is a body somewhere in your room, right? Also a good time to check closets for any hidden suspects.
4. Consider changing hotels.
If you’re me at this point you remember that you are at one of the “nice” hotels in the area and that most of the other locations were sold out.
5. Send out a tweet.
Twitter wants to know your plight. Plus you’ll get valuable feedback from anyone else who has ever found bloodstains on their carpet. It is generally considered rude to tag/identify the hotel you are staying in unless you have informed the front desk of said bloodstains.
— Nasreen Stump (@ramblingstump) July 29, 2015
6. Pull out the hydrogen peroxide.
What? You don’t travel with hydrogen peroxide? You should. It will foam when poured on an organic matter like blood. This is a great time to Periscope your adventure to your friends.
7. Call or go down to the front desk.
Explain that there is a bloodstain on your floor and that you know this because you have gone all CSI on the place. Politely let them know that you have cased the room for any lingering bad guys and that it is “all clear.” Ask for a cookie and a new room for your troubles. Be sure to mention your fear of ghosts.