Last week you read about how I was about to venture into a trip, alone. Well, I cheated a little. I went on my trip, alone, but as soon as I got to where I needed to be I found someone to keep me company. Turns out being alone, after never being alone, was not as easy to do as one would expect, especially when traveling.
So much was the adjustment that I had to make that for a moment I had forgotten that I had actually left my family behind in this journey to Chicago. On my first full day there, Friday, I was awakened by a phone call from a friend.
“Are you up?”
“Yes, of course!” I answered more than half asleep, not even really sure who I was talking to.
“I’ll be at breakfast, see you there?”
“Yes, yes, of course. Let me just get everyone ready and I’ll head out.”
“Everyone?” she asked unable to resist bursting into laughter.
“Oh sh*t! That’s right! The kids aren’t here!”
I laughed about that all morning.
But once showered, got dressed and was out the door, I was a new woman. I was eager to meet up with friends I had never met but planned to, I found an awesome ability to talk to anyone, about anything. And though I did find myself a bit overwhelmed the first night, and unable to drag myself to bed, the king size bed with the 50 pillows that were assorted in welcoming style called and cradled me toSleepland where I don’t even remember a dream.
After this, and even after my friend and companion on most things left Chicago, I was a new person. I gravitated towards strangers who seemed interesting in their stance, or how they spoke, or just by being near me. I hugged and kissed a lot. I took pictures, I smiled, I laughed, hard and loud.
Alone, completely, in my room on my last night there, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw all my dreams reflected clearly in my tired, bloodshot eyes. I saw my path, my next steps. I became excited, couldn’t wait to get started.
Now, back at home, I feel more connected to my husband, to my kids. And I know why. It’s because a trip alone helped me connect with myself. And though I didn’t always feel it, I think that there were moments I was lost and forgotten, not really a priority in my own mind. It’s amazing how incredibly easy it is for a mother to get lost in this way, even one as active and independent as myself. But this trip helped push me to the forefront again. I am happier for it…and have more to give in turn.
I encourage every mom to take a trip alone, be it near or far, for a few hours or a few days, and reflect on her own dreams and goals…no matter how impossible they may seem at first thought. Grab on to them, own them, and gain the power to attain them.