“It’s a new morning a new day. I opened up my eyes and wondered how life will surprise me today, new hopes new dreams new ways!” These were the lyrics written on the set of Good Morning America for Robin Roberts by a singersongwriter named India. These were pretty heady words to hear before I’d even had my coffee!
This got me thinking, what is standing in my way of making my dreams come true. I could say it’s the laundry, the latest construction project in the kitchen, or of course – I’m too busy with the kids, but really the only thing standing in my way is myself. I’m stuck in a place where I stew over things CONSTANTLY! Earlier this morning I had woke up at 4:30am and re-hashed a conversation that I had with the architect yesterday, and I went on and on (in my head) about how I could have/should have said other things…
Then I worried about an upcoming meeting I have at the school for my son. And my worry turned to anger and my turmoil built up in side me. Then I was angry that I was awake at 4:45am and then I worried that for some reason my husbands alarm wasn’t going to go off and he was going to sleep in, miss his train, so I continued to worry and stew in order to make sure he got up (by the way, my husband has never missed work because he didn’t set his alarm) but there I was worrying.
Then I guess I fell back to sleep and he was leaving the house saying goodbye to my daughter who I could tell, by the sounds, she was making herself a bowl of cereal.
I thought about a meeting I’d had the day before at Parents Exchange, an organization I belong to for moms. It’s moderated by a talented psychologist. I started thinking about how we discussed how to stay calm with our kids, not to scream at them: The goal should be to NEVER scream at them. We jokingly said we should just leave now, we (the ten or so moms) could never do it. But we talked about strategies and how it might be possible, and we talked about the damage that is done when we do lose it. We discussed how when we’ve lost it, we’re not in control and nothing good can come from a mom in the middle of a tantrum. So I decided to turn my thoughts around, I wondered if the cycle of waking up grumpy and then yelling at my kids is a result of my own negative ruminating and angry thoughts that I start my day with.
Hhmm, I thought, I’m going to do this morning differently. I thought I’d start the day with a snuggle on my bed (like we did when they were littler when it seemed we always had more time) so my oldest daughter only got a five minute snuggle then I had to take her in early to school for chorus. We had a great talk on the way in because I wasn’t mad at her for being late this morning. I had said to her ten minutes before we left the house that she had to brush her teeth and hair, have her back pack at the door and be ready to walk out at seven am. If she wasn’t ready, I was climbing back to bed and she would miss chorus and then have to get herself to the bus stop at 7:20. It worked and I didn’t even yell.
One down, two to go. I needed a cup of coffee. So with the next two, I decided to do the same. We jumped under the covers, the kids brought the dog in and we had lot’s of laughs. We slowly got up and my 8 year old daughter made her own cinnamon toast (she was adament about doing it herself). I asked CJ who is ten, to get dressed and used one of my favorite ways to get him back downstairs. “CJ, your breakfast is ready.” He came downstairs quickly and dressed almost appropriately! We sat down for breakfast and I was able to get them to school early. I don’t know if a day started with a snuggle is the answer, or just the right mindset. I don’t know, but I do know it worked for this morning.
Now I have to work on myself and get to the gym.
I’m going to think positive. I’m going to get through this day without any yelling as well.