I am a CITY GIRL. Notice the capital letters? Not a mistake. I am a city person. I’ve lived in New York City for my entire adult life (except for the two years I lived in another major world city, Paris) and, as my friend David Rakoff says, if I want greenery I’ll “order the Spinach Salad.” But this summer, in the interest of saving money and appeasing my kids, my husband is trying to get me to go camping.
Tents? Bugs? No toilets? No thank you.
Or the alternative: RV’s, lawn chairs, six packs. No thanks again.
I’m all for loving nature — just during daylight hours. My husband said “family vacation” and the first thing I thought was “make-up kit.” Because last week I got the greatest little freebie from my Role Mommy created Moms Night Out event. A bunch of real deal make-up brushes from Beauty Strokes, and a cute as a button-nose (which I will never have because mine is decidedly ethnic) – all-in-one make-up kit by e.l.f. studio. I’m imagining myself swiping my professional quality Beauty Strokes brushes across my fabulous new portable make-up kit, making myself gorgeous (it’s a fantasy, ok? stay with me.)
And then he says “family camping vacation”. For a week.
Huh? I want to go camping about as much as I want a dog. (Did I mention we’re getting a dog?) I want to go camping about as much as I want my son to skip camp all summer to hang out with me. (Working on it.) I want to go camping…well, not very much.
But I think, like any Mom, I’m going to give in and do what the kids want…or at least what they think they want. After all, night time nature noises are scary when you’re used to the dulcet tones of sirens and honking horns. And actual darkness? I don’t think my kids know what that is. New York City is never truly dark.
So I’ll go camping. But I’m making sure that we’re close to a hotel just in case. And I’m bringing the Beauty Strokes — cause if we do end up in a hotel, I’m sure not walking around looking like I just went camping!