The good hotel rooms go to those who ask. For years now, I have been singularly obsessed with my hotel room placement. My husband has long suffered the embarrassment of my “room negotiating”. After 11 years of marriage and dozens of family vacations he has become a believer and is now disappointed if my techniques fail.

It may be a conspiracy theory, but I am convinced that the front desk will always give you the crummiest room they have and hope you’ll take it. OK, maybe if you’re Angelina Jolie you can be sure that your first room will be the best available, the rest of us have to work for it.

I have yet to check in to a room that I found suitable on the first try; there is always something better that won't cost more money. It might be a room with a better view, more natural light, further from the elevator, on a higher floor, or if you’re bold and little lucky it’s a significantly nicer room.

My top tips for free room upgrades:

• Know your property. Study it online; know which part of the hotel looks nicer (over the pool, view of the ocean). Ask your friends, read travel Web sites. The more you know about the property before checking in, the more likely you are to get a better room straight from the front desk.

• Ask if there's a concierge level. Rooms on this floor give you access to the concierge suite. Depending on the property, this means you might have free breakfast, newspapers, wi-fi access, snacks throughout the day. I’ve been moved to this floor at no charge many times just by asking.

• Be nice. Funny is better, but you have to at least be nice. Many an angry guest has been turned away with a “we’re sorry there’s nothing we can do.” There’s always something they can do, you just have to convince them to do it for you, the nice one who would be so happy with an upgrade.

Here are a few good questions that have worked:

“Is there a room with a larger layout?” “I’m traveling without kids for the first time in years, is there any chance I can be upgraded?” “Do you have something nearer the…pool, lake, etc.” “We have the kids with us, do you have a room with more space, a refrigerator, etc.”

I did this in Paris at the Ritz (my husband hid) I complained the room was too small and had no view … voila -- we had a view of the Tour de Eiffel and a great layout.

I’m writing this from my one bedroom suite in the Cloisters on Sea Island. We were supposed to have a regular room with a river view. I used the “we’re traveling without kids and would love to have a really great room”, I was familiar with the property and wanted to be at the Beach Club, I was willing to wait for 2 hours while they cleaned the room and take a room with 2 queens instead of a king (who doesn’t love having their own bed?). The front desk girl took pity on me, or wanted to get rid of me, and our room is so large I actually got lost in it.

Give it a try, sometimes it takes a few moves and a lot of moxie, but it’s worth it. You only get what you ask for in life … and hotels!